What we may or may not realize, or act on, is that most things and options we use have on/off switches. We can use them when we want and not use them when we don’t want to. There’s a saying that goes something like, “Too much of anything isn’t usually good.” Just because we may like or enjoy something, it may or may not make it a healthy option. Every action has a reaction.

In addiction, we seem to create habits around making options available. Addiction, in all forms — whether physical, substance-based, or digital — forms patterns of behavior around those options. These habits often follow trends that last for variable amounts of time.

Now, in my observation of Facebook and the users on the platform, I’ve witnessed many occasions where someone becomes so mentally involved in the Facebook culture and the constant convenience of connection that they step away only long enough to loudly announce it. It’s like flicking a light switch and then yelling out the window to the entire neighborhood every time you do it:

“I SHUT THE LIGHTS OFF!”
“I TURNED THE LIGHTS ON!”

People express their use of on/off controls in different ways. If I had a neighbor who yelled out his window every time he turned his lights on or off, it would irritate me — but I’d probably invite him over for a backyard BBQ and try to understand him a little better.

We all express ourselves differently when we get stressed. Sometimes we have no answer, sometimes we don’t even know what’s broken inside us — only that something is.

I spent eight years trying to get along in a relationship that slowly turned into constant arguing. Eventually, I realized that particular “option” needed to be switched off. But personal relationships are not as simple as a light switch — they are a hard habit to change. Without deliberate effort to assess the problems, choosing to turn that switch off became extremely difficult.

The truth is, our lives are filled with these on/off options — mental, emotional, digital, and physical. The power lies not just in having the switch, but in recognizing when to use it.

Balance is not simply knowing we have an “OFF” setting.
It’s having the courage and awareness to use it.

(c) Jeremy Abram